I.D. box. It was important to move as swiftly and efficiently as possible, so I careened across the room ­ the whole time scanning and listening to locate the phone. I have three precious rings to identify the caller, find the phone and make a determination to answer or not.
   I´m not going to lie to you my friends: I didn´t always make it. And, just imagine the gaggle of important papers I caused with my reckless searches.
   Now, I just sit back and am amazed at the calming effect Velcro has had on my business. These days, when the phone rings, I just glance quickly at the friendly caller I.D. and walk calmly to the pole as the second ring is just beginning. I then pause and look at the phone hanging there in perfect view, and grin at my own cleverness. With a calm and gleeful manner, I answer, "Eye Candy Graphics." Then begins a frenzy of pulling and pushing as I conduct business at a feverish pace.
   You might be saying to yourselves, "Boy, this guy really likes Velcro," but it hasn´t been all fun and games. At one point (I know this is hard to believe) I got just a little delusional and had dark fantasies of installing a Velcro crow´s-nest on my pole where I could perch and oversee business as "Captain Velcro." I also nearly changed my tag line to read, "Everything is within our reach."
   But, I returned to the sane world unfettered, and things are going nicely. So go then, make me proud of your new Velcro innovations, but don´t get silly on me.
   With my shop organized, it was time to conquer color matching. I am not going to go into the traditional methods; there have been volumes written and you should experiment to find what works.
   However, no matter what method you choose, you should also leave one wall of your shop free ­ free of Velcro, free of swimsuit calendars and any other motivational posters. Here, my friends, go all of your color charts.
   First, a Pantone Matching System® chart. I feel kind of silly pointing out the obvious, but I hope all you operators have, at a minimum, printed out every PMS® color.
   I created my own chart; however, this could quite possibly be the single most boring activity on earth. But, I guess you pay for being lazy. There must be an easy way to tell Quark (click to continue)

I was a young,

overly excited

entry level designer

in a production

uniform when I

first noticed a wad

of Velcro® next to a

bunch of disabled

emergency inkjet

cartridges on one of

my junk shelves.

As I stared at my gnarled treasure, I thought about my childhood spent perusing junk drawers and messy work benches for essential items such as tape, glue, string, rubber bands and nails; in short, things for putting stuff together. Back then I never searched for or even dreamed of Velcro. I knew it existed because of my "camo" nylon wallet, but I didn´t know it was legal to buy the stuff.
    Perhaps other kid´s fathers utilized it, but it was one modern marvel that eluded my father. So you must understand my excitement. I was now a graphics guy who gets access to all sorts of bulk raw materials, and I stood before Velcro­ the queen of products for putting stuff together.
   Aggressive double-stick tape is seductive, but its permanence limits its utility. Velcro, on the other hand, is simply beautiful. It can be used over and over... rrrip... "I have a pen"... push... "I now have a pen in plain view ready for a quick grab"... rrrip. You get the idea.
    I´ve even heard hushed rumors of people (insanely busy ones) wearing out Velcro, but I´ve never actually seen it.
   Needless to say, I was oppressed at my first job by nonbelievers. You know, my boss and my coworkers. When I finally started my own shop, I didn´t waste any time.
   I affixed calculators to the sides of every computer in the shop. Next, pens and Sharpies®. I decided these particular items needed to be everywhere.
   Next were X-ACTO® knives and tape measures, then singular items like my priming gun and that little air shooter I used to chronically lose.
   The center pole in my warehouse was then converted into a Velcro shrine which contained every essential provision for quick business: the elusive cordless phone, pens, markers, my stereo remote control, a calculator, measuring tape and a writing pad.
   It used to be that the sharp shrill of my phone would trigger bedlam (mayhem, if you will). First, I would have to run over to my caller

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